Unforgettable Experience

By the age of 17; when I started to rebel. I didn't know what's the cause of my rebelling then, I just know I fell deeply in love for the first time and it affects all what I have... especially my behavior.

I was once a shy; timid; loner and what we called quite straight girl... but all that vanished when I turned 17, just what I've said before.

I fell in love with B. He's 22 years old then --- five years older than me. He knows ev'rything in love-life relationship, but  me --- well, I'm still innocent then.

So, he teaches me ev'rything --- taught me ev'rything I have to know.

He taught me how to love; to give; to share; and to obey... HIM! He taught me how to lie; to hate; to hurt, and betrayed... MYSELF!


He opened  up realities & wild life to me. He brought me to a world I should never... known. He taught me to make friends --- wrong set of friends; HIS FRIENDS!

And these friends of him taught me: confusion & wild things, like: smoke, liquors, and other stuff. It was exciting, at the same time, it's REVOLTING & DISGUSTING!

My b.f. said to me that he would marry me someday & that he loves me very, very much... and that two things, are the magic words! MARRY and LOVE!

Hmp! How I fooled myself!!!

Fortunately, my so-called friends had conscience enough, to not introduced me to drugs.

So, I haven't tried drugs... and don't want to.

So, let's see:

I abandoned my studies...
I always go out with my friends; oh, y'know GIMMICKS!!!
I smoked; I drink...
I become a total... MESS UP!

My boyfriend's in the band. He's a drummer and vocalist. He has another girlfriend (which I only found out later). Him & his friends AND me & my friends (cousins & other girl-friends) are the Masters & Mistresses of TIME SUCKAGE!!!... GENERATION-X'ers!!! THE LOST SOULS!!! Whatever you want to call us...

To make the story short:

That was year 1995 - early 1996!!!

Now, 1997...

We (some of us) changed for the best. Back to our own selves again, but not as whole & straight as before.

What happened?

Some of my friends --- married...
others got pregnant...

my cousin - married & have a daughter now. married to her b.f. (friend of ours & lead guitarist of the band)

my step-aunt (1 month & 1 week older than me) - had a daughter now, but no husband; result of having many boyfriends at the same time...

me - work as a saleslady in Bowling Center. continue studying. Computer Studies.

B. - got married to his other girlfriend and have a son now.

my other cousin - still messing up her life.

... other friends --- still fuckin' up & messing up their lives.

That's all for now!
    Keep you posted...                           .xox.